My favorite things <3

These are a few of my favorite things...

Art Supplies- FM Static- The Beach- Peace and Love

im kind of a nerd when it comes to art supplies... my favorite store to shop in is not a nice clothing store or the mall...its Michael's...i love all types of supplies...i can go into that store and spend a ton of money and not feel bad about it.

FM Static is my favorite band ever. it's a christian rock band but when u listen to them its not all jesus this moses that, its good music...they've been my favorite since i was 13 and i never gave them up.

The beach...oh the beach...i love everything about the beach. the smells, the sounds the feeling you get when the wind blows the smell of the ocean all around you. i live 2 minutes away from the beach and so i find that it is where i go to relax. it is so serene when summer hasnt begun yet or it had just ended and there is no one around you while you lay still in the midle of the beach taking in your surroundings and sinking deep into the silence that pours out around you.

Peace and Love is what this world needs...just a little "peace" of love.

Who I am!

A day at the beach...

Me and my friends during the summer orientation with Molloy...

Friends <3

i've been finding myself having a really hard time lately because my two best friends are so far away in college and we barely talk or keep in touch through the computer...everyones just so busy and preoccupied that in a way i feel like im losing my closest friends....but i kno its not the case at all...
idk my best friend Lisa is up in Buffalo State Univ. and my other best friend, Liz, who ive been friends with since MS and HS, bu we go back all the way to elementary school is at Colgate Univ.
they both are 6+ hours away :(
idk i just cant wait to see them when they come home for breaks and stuff bc i know that things will feel better to me once i se them again.... :D

Nick Ending>

being with a guy for 3 years you think would have a dramatic impact on you if the relatioship ended...but not for me
i started off dating this guy when i was in 10th grade. i met him on the beach at my beach club because he was a lifeguard there. so we started talking and i found out that he was 2 years older then me and he was from Valley Stream/Hewlett. he was starting his senior year and i was starting my sophomore year of high school.
so the next thing i know...we are almost three years down the road and still together...
November 20th would have been our three year mark but sadly we didnt make it that far... i was the one to break it off because of his lack of maturity and lieing. i was constantly being promised things and constantly being let down. and i was sick of it....completely fed up and FURIOUS!...i felt like i was going crazy....he was sending me over the edge and i was getting a lil to close to that edge for my on comfort so i had to end things for my own mental health and wel being.
the thing that i think upsets me the most is that im not even remotely upset about any of it...
figure this...i had to pack up 3 years worth of stuff out of my room and from everywhere...ever picture, stuffed animal, piece of jewelery, everything...had to get packed up and out away and i think the only time i felt a little upset was when i was putting prom pictures away from his prom...that was the most upsetting to me because thats when the times were good and there were no bad times and bad memories....just one happy little couple....but that only lasts for so long>>....
so i really think something is wrong here....y arent i upset about ending a 3 year relationship with someone i supposedly loved?....

Florence, Italy

i am so excited about going on the freshman trip to Florence, Italy. it has been my dream since forever to go to italy and see the museums and go to a million different places...i have this weird passion for art...i not exactly good at it but i love to learn about each and every little detail and reason as to why a painter or sculptor or any artist in general did what they did to make such beautiful art and what maybe their inspiration was or the symbolism that is in the work...
so i am very very very super excited because some of my friends that i kno are already going on the trip. going to Florence, Pisa and Siena are great starting points for my first trip to Italy. i want to go back afterwards and spend timein Rome and Venice. Ughhh! im so excited to go....and i cant wait untill March....actually i can a little bit because i need to save up LOTS and LOTS of money for this trip. haha

Pivot's Questionaire

What's your favorite word?
My favorite word would probably have to be the word "legit"..i say it all the time when im serious about something.

What is your least favorite word?
my least favorite word is definitly "Knarly"...i hate it when people say it...i just makes them sound dumb and burnt out...ha ha

What turns you on creativly, spiritually, or emotionally?
the thing that turns me on the most is someone that can have an intelligent conversation with you and be fun...someone who can talk about a good book they read. Also, i love people who are hard workers...i have such an appreciation for the things they do.

What turns you off?
i would definitly say immaturity is the biggest turn off with anyone. not even just boyfriends, people in general.

What is your Favorite curse word?
my favorite curse word is probably..."shit" i always say it and i do try not to curse alot but i would have to say that this particular word likes to slip out alot

What sound or noise do you love?
i love the sound of the water rushing and splashing up on the side of a boat when ur riding in one...an he motion of the boat ...it's so relaxing

What sound or noise do you hate?
the certain sound some toys make...its like a really annoying clicking sound...like the sound of those cars that you pull backwards to let go of so it can speed off forward...the clicking sounds it makes when you drag it backwards...that noise literally can send me over the edge.

What profession, other than your own would you like to attempt?
i would love to try and be a pilot...i dont know, it's something about being able to travel the world and go to all different locations as a part of your job while still doing for others is just amazing.

What profession would you not like to attempt?
any kind of office job or being a nun... im scared of them.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
i dont know if id want to hear him say anything...just have his arms open to me to come in.

President 2008

Presidential Debate: McCain & Palin

when it comes to politics...im not a fan...but i think this election in particular has caught everyone's attention...this will be my first year voting and im going to make sure that i do so.
i am a registered Republican one reason being because of my views on abortion... im Pro-Life not Pro- Choice...
anyway...for the 2008 presidential election i will be voting for John McCain and not because i completely agree with every single thing he stands for but mostly because if Barack Hussein Obama is nominated as president of the united states....im going to go and live on Mars...becasue ii am honestly scared shitless for our country and with an Arabic, Muslim raised young man as our president...im terrified to see what happens...
and as many know and i am not saying this with any racism or offense intended...but most of the black population are voting for obama just because they want to see a black president in office and they are so mislead and misunderstood because obama is only 6% African American and some seem to think that his name is African Swahili and is completely untrue his name is straight up Arabic and it just pisses me off so much thathe has lied a million and one times about bullshit stuff.....w.e like i said im movin to mars if he becomes president...

Close Connections

I will be the first and last to tell u that i have had probably the worst influences in my life as a child. but at i can assure you that a few choice people have also helped mold me into the person i am today
mother...addict
father...alcoholic
grandfather(dad side)- recovered alcoholic
grandfather(mom side)- heavy drinker
grandmother "Gee"(dad side)- normal good influence best grandma in the world
grandmother(mom side)- died from Hepatitis from drug use
Aunt kim "Ki-Ki"(dad side)- best in the world...idol
Uncle Jimmy(dad side)- recovered alcoholic
Uncles Chris and John(mom side)- heavy drinkers
Uncle Billy(mom side)- normal fun guy

....u see im mostly surrounded by... well...bad influences and so i'd have to say the the two biggest influences in my life are my aunt Kim (Ki-Ki) and my grandmother Betty (Gee) ahve been the most influential out of them all...and the i love them with such an unconditional love that no one not even a husband or anyone in the world can replace...

Ongoing Assesment

Molloy

When i chose to come to Molloy College i knew i had done the right thing. The school fit me so well....with everything it had to offer. The small classes, the low student/faculty ratio, all of the clubs, groups and organizations and the location of the schoool in relation to my house. It's only a 20 minute drive from my house and a 45 minute or so bus ride. I dont know but i feel like everything just fell in to place. I only applied to four different schools that were all local except for one that was in Albany. And out of all of them...i chose Molloy which is kind of ironic in a way because i was adament about dorming because i did not want to live home no matter what. Molloy is like a second home to me.
I am undeclared as a major right now but i plan on possibly going into education. I am currently involved in student government, im on the community service commitee and i do community service throught the schools ministry and best of all i play rugby. Rugby has been such a great sport for me to be playing. the practices are intense and they always keep us moving. i have found rugby to be a stress relieving sport for me to play....i can be having the worst day and feel tired and lousey but once i get myself to the practice and start moving around and talking to people i feel so much better and i go home in a much better mood.
I remember the one thing that Bob Houlihan said at the new student orientation before school started... "you're not going to be happy here at Molloy unless you get involved with clubs or sports or somehting that catches your interest"...and for me that is completely true and i would give that i advice to any incoming student...

the hatred
the pain
the terrible feelings that ive gained

the hurt
the sorrow
the hope of a better tomorrow

the giant gap between me and the outer world
the chain around my ankle tears at my skin
what sick kind of games do they play to win

i dont kno what to do
no one has any advice
and because of this i pay a price

i consider mysefl to be a good kid
with fewer problems then most
yet im not treated like that and have nothing to boast

Why?

Why do people always manage to let you down? why can't they just stick to their word?...i mean its not that hard especially if you mean alot to them and they claim they dont want to upset you.
however people do it and i cant understand why...im looking for that answer... those who have let me down have done a lot of damage because when someone promises me something i hold on to it tight and i remember for some reason what the outcome of it was. let down or excitement. so on my side i feel hurt with something as simple as...ok we're gonna go to the mall today and it never happens... i take it so personally...and so now i have been finding myself doubting people when they say things...even to people who have never let me down before...and i dont like feeling like that....i wanna be able to meet someone and believe in everything they say or do unless they give me a reason not to....but im the opposite...its hard to trust first... :(

OTH

I will admit right now that i am addicted to watching One Tree Hill and have seen every episode from day 1 season 1.
So, the new season, season 6, started last monday on Sept 1st and as we all should know the Lucas and Peyton we've all been rooting for and hoping for have finally come to their senses and decided that being together was what they really have been wanting all along, to the extreme of marriage right away. it had been 4 long agonizing years for peyton watching lucas move on and attempting to marry another woman. but like we all knew....it wasnt gonna happen, Lucas wasnt moving on with his life being happy without Peyton and it took his former fiance to basically tell him that. so now peytion and lucas are engaged to be married and Nathan is making a comeback into his big game, Basketball. but with warning signs from the doctor Nathan knows that he has to slow down or else paralysis for life could be in his near future, and as nathan said with is hot wife and amazing 4 year old son jamie he knows where his priorities are and what he needs to do to be responsible and there for his family. Skills and Deb are still going at it, everywhere, all the time. lol. still keeping their little secret form hailey and nathan but opppss not from jamie bc jamie now has proof bc he saw it with his own two eyes. skills and deb were busted but...lucky for them little jamie approves as a possible grandpa skills sounds like a good idea to him. hahaa.
Brooke is losing it and losing it quickly, we have yet to know who came in and trashed the store, stole her sketches, the cash register and beat her so badly she can barely function. so brooke believes in "justice" and hopes it is served, and willing to serve it to that person who did this damage to her. and of course once again psycho nanny carrie's "plan sucks". ever since we found out that she was the one who hit Dan with her car she has been torturing him in her little hospice in her home, feeding him slop with bugs, threatening his life and saying how shes gonna kill him once she gets jamie. but with dan waiting for his heart transplant and the beeper going off to tell him its ready for him at the hospital he realizes her plan to kidnap jamie and make it look like it was him sucks. he tells her that without his heart transplant he only has 6 months left to live and if everyione thinks that 'he' kinaped jamie and people find out went he dies and jamie is nowhere to be found.....who do u think the next suspect is...... nanny carrie...haha.
And for the final most shocking thing that has happened.......quentin or "Q" as we all now him has just gotten done telling hailey his life dreams and goals and how he wants a family someday just like hers and encourages nathan daily to keep trying at pushing forward with his lifs dream and practices diligently with him daily. and all of a sudden being at the wrong place at the wrong time getting gas and putting money into his pump Q realizes somethings up with this guy gawking at him not taking the money for the gas and as he looks overto his left he see a man laying there dead dragged off to the side so as Q slowly turns around to face away from the psycho he is shot and killed. Poor little Jamie is going to be crushed when he gets the news, especially bc he was in the process of making him a matching cape for when they play basketball together. Jamie always looked up to Q he was always friendly, nice and loved him like a brother.

English 090- overslept

Well, on the first tuesday of the new school year...i managed to oversleep and accidentally miss my 730 am english class!!
I feel so terrible and the worst part...is that i have the same professor for my other english class at 150...ughh i cant win...i dont know what im gonna say to her. and to make everything so much better once again the bus never fails to let me down. it took me almost an hour and a half to get to school when it should only take 45 minutes tops. so now im stressed over that fact that i missed my class but thank god i didnt have ne work assigned. i think ill just tell her what happened and make sure i get whatever work or papers were given out. i dont think these tuesday/thursday 730 am english classes are gonna be too good for me already.

The Calm Before The Storm

The swift movement of the clouds in a sky so clear gives an assurance of peace within. Until that moment when the wretched wind tosses the leaves and beats against our faces. The sky turns a deep gray from the clear blue plane it once was. As the raindrops begin to fall chasing people walking about the streets, the clouds widen, thicken and bring discomfort to most.
.

MTA

Taking public transportation has been a nightmare and it's only the third day of school. I live in Long Beach and so i have to take two buses to school because i have yet to get my drivers liscense or my learners permit. I dont know what im waiting for to get it, its just that i have to get all the way out to the DMV in mineloa. So, my first day of school was wednesday and my aunt dropped me off so i didnt have to take the bus to school but after school i had practice and after practice i had no choice but to take the bus, unfortunatly. The buses are always late or too early, but mostly late. i constantly find myself sitting there annoyed, wondering and worrying because i have to make it to my classes in the morning. So thursday came along and i took the bus in the morning and once again i found my self waiting for the bus and time was passing and the time for me to go to my 7:30 am class was creeping up. so i started to panic but like always the bus made it there and i got to school 3 minutes before my class started...talk about cutting it close. so i get into my class and i got through my two boring ass english classes and practice and what do u kno?....time to get back on the bus to go home so im waiting and waiting .....................and waiting.....30-40 minutes go by and someone comes up to me and tells me......that the buses have to keep circling back around to NCC because of some kind of West Nile spraying that they were doing in the area.....so i said screw this im walking.....so i started walking up hempstead avenue fo a good 20-25 minutes to the train station and then oh look a bus comes but of course im not near a bus stop so i started sprinting to get to the bus and thank god i made it...and so the bus drives for about 5-10 minutes untill i get to the other stop to transfer and i of course i find myself waiting there for a good 20 minutes when its only supposed to take approx. 2-5 minutes for the transfer bus to come......and once i got on the bus it was smooth ailing home......hahaha.....so for anyone who has to take public transportation, especially the bus......i know how terrible it really is